• Peter: I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once.
  • Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing?
  • Peter: Oh yeah.


Hey, pass over some of that Cool wHip.


  • Brian: Hey, barkeep, whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here?

  • Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
  • Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
  • Brian: Peter those aren't your kids, that's the Nick-at-Night lineup.
  • Peter: Blanka, Zangeif, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
  • Brian: That's Street Fighter.
  • Peter: Red, blue, green...
  • Brian: Those are colors.