“

Oh, I must give you my e-mail address. It’s loismustdie@yahoo.com.

— Stewie Griffin

Hey, pass over some of that Cool wHip.


brettjohn:

Stewie: Time to lose this costume

…..

…..

Stewie: Ha Ha. Because we’re in Russia


  •  (Lois walks in on Stewie torturing a kid)
  • Stewie: We're playing house...
  • Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
  • Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.

  • Bill Cosby: Stewie, what do you think candy is made of?
  • Stewie: Sunshine and farts, what the hell kind of question is that?

  • Stewie: Easy! Massage the scalp. You're washing a baby's hair, not scrubbing vomit off your Christmas dress, you holiday drunk.

  •  (Lois finds a note in Chris's pocket)
  • Lois: Huh, what's this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn't usually read things out of Chris's pocket. She's more respectful than that.
  • Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.